Peeler
DAY 1
Ari shifted the weight of her pack on her shoulders and stopped. She turned around, only now noticing the absence of footsteps. Hiking tended to be a silent, introspective affair; she’d been in too much of a trance to notice her partner’s footsteps disappearing behind her.
She called back down the trail, ‘Paul?’
There was no response.
Deciding she’d earned a rest, she slid off her pack and stretched her legs. Paul would catch up soon enough. He’d been constantly drifting further behind since they’d arrived and began the hike yesterday.
Ari sat and leaned back against a tree on the edge of the path. Birds chirped while wind rustled the leaves and rolled over the hills. Being surrounded by nature calmed her, let her focus on her breath. She inhaled deeply and watched the dancing canopy, the grass rolling like waves in the wind, wildlife gliding through the sky or running through the flora. The sky was a brilliant white, sunshine only able to penetrate in scattered beams through the thick clouds.
Her trance was interrupted by boots crunching the dirt, the shaking and rustling of a pack. She heard him approaching long before seeing him crest the hill she’d already scaled.
Paul waved when he spotted her from down the trail. ‘How long have you been sitting here?’ he called between heavy breaths.
‘Oh, not long,’ she lied. She waited with a patient smile – maybe a little smug – for him to stop alongside her. She couldn’t help being amused; hands on his hips, chest heaving, face red and dripping with sweat, yet pretending he was perfectly fine. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Perfectly fine.’ He inhaled and wiped his damp forehead before laboriously releasing the clips and straps of his own pack, letting it drop.
‘Are you trying to break everything in there?’ she teased, standing. She leaned in close, putting her arms around him.
‘Wait,’ he said, ducking away from her. ‘Don’t get too close; I’m sweating like a fucking waterfall over here.’
‘Gross,’ Ari said, wincing, before leaning in, laughing, to kiss his cheek. ‘I’ve seen you in worse conditions.’
He smiled but looked away to hide his shame, though they both knew she’d only meant it as a joke. ‘Seriously,’ he said, changing the subject, ‘how are you so dry and not out of breath?’
‘Practise, I’d say.’
‘Right. You’ve practised getting so far ahead of me you can take a break.’
‘Well, I’m happy to go behind you and stick to your pace.’
‘No. I told you, I’m staying behind you. I don’t want anything happening where I can’t see you.’
‘My big, brave protector.’ She laughed. ‘Nothing will happen to me, Paul. I know what I’m doing. I’m a big girl.’
‘I know. Just… it’s important to me.’
‘We can just walk together? You haven’t done this for a while; I don’t expect you to keep up with me.’
‘And I don’t expect you to have to wait on me all day, Ari. I’m not going to hold you back.’ He looked at her for a serious moment. ‘I mean, we agreed. You go as fast as you’re comfortable. I can catch up.’
She kissed him again, leaving her lips on his before moving to his ear to whisper, ‘Can you, though?’
‘Okay.’ Paul playfully pushed her back and reached for his pack. ‘Let’s keep going, miss Master Hiker.’ He pulled his bag on with visible strain, still trying to appear casual. ‘If you’re ready? We’re burning daylight.’
She nodded, laughing at the phrase. She had her pack on, ready to leave, in the time it took Paul to fasten a single clip.
‘Was there ever a time we could keep up with each other?’ Paul asked once they were moving.
‘You were actually faster than me, at one point.’
Paul scoffed. ‘Right. Before I went and fucked everything up.’
‘Hey.’ Ari put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him seriously. ‘You’re here now, with me. That’s all that matters.’
He gave her a sad smile, part understanding, part apologetic, but all love. ‘How long until we reach the campground?’ he asked, changing the subject; his go-to for avoiding serious topics.
Ari looked up at the beams of light leaking through the canopy and the clouds. ‘Honestly, I don’t think we’ll make the site today. Might have to just find a spot before then.’
Paul didn’t respond, too ashamed that he was the reason they were losing time. Ari didn’t care; she was just happy to have her partner back.
The clouds darkened as they covered the trail, deciding to stop once it was too dark to continue. They pushed on a little further before Ari spotted a small clearing in the trees just off the trail, and they marched through the brush to remove their packs. Ari dug through hers for half of the tent – the base – while Paul stretched and caught his breath.
‘What is that?’ Paul said. He stepped away while Ari clipped the tent poles together.
‘Feel like giving me a hand?’ she called with a smile. He didn’t respond, but she was happy to begin setting up while he gathered himself. When she was ready to slide the poles through the canvas – easier with two people – she turned to ask for help, but Paul had vanished.
‘Paul?’ she yelled. ‘Can you help me with these poles?’ She waited, but nothing came; only the occasional birdsong, the wind, insect chirps.
A sudden crunch of brush behind her made her spin.
‘Look what I found,’ Paul said, but before Ari could respond, the thing was flying towards her. She yelped and jumped back, dropping the tent poles, to keep whatever Paul had thrown from touching her.
‘Jesus Christ, Paul!’ she said, holding her chest. ‘What the fuck is that!?’
‘Sorry,’ Paul said between laughs. ‘I couldn’t help myself… Really, I am sorry.’ He kept laughing.
Ari glared at him, but she, too, eventually smiled. It was hard not to, his amusement contagious. ‘Asshole.’ The thing he’d thrown at her, to his great enjoyment, lay in the grass between them. ‘Seriously, what is that thing?’
It resembled a lizard as long as Ari’s forearm, but just the skin. Instead of the pale, translucent skin she thought reptiles normally shed, it was the complete body of a lizard, from snout to tail, without any discolouring or patches missing.
‘Just a lizard that’s shed its skin. I saw another one like it earlier today, when you went ahead. It won’t bite,’ Paul said, picking it up again. ‘Probably.’ He jabbed it towards her.
Ari didn’t flinch, her initial shock worn off. ‘It doesn’t look like skin that’s been shed.’ It looked like a fully intact lizard with all its insides removed; even the eye sockets and hanging open mouth were eerily empty.
‘Whatever it is, it’s dead now.’ Paul flung it back into the forest, apologising again as he picked up the tent poles.
By the time the camp was fully set up, their bedrolls and sleeping bags laid out inside the two-person tent, the forest was almost fully covered by night. Ari and Paul both sat in the tent in their warm sleepwear, a prepackaged meal cooking in a small pot atop a portable gas can for their dinner.
‘Clouds look nasty,’ Paul observed, looking out the open tent flap at a small patch of sky visible through trees. ‘Might rain tonight.’
‘Well, look at you,’ Ari said, nudging him. ‘Haven’t completely lost your woodsman instincts, huh?’
Paul smiled. ‘Apparently not. We don’t have much of a choice, anyway. My phone died at some point.’
Ari frowned and reached for her own pack at the foot of the tent, digging for her phone. She tried to turn it on, finding the same problem. ‘Mine’s dead too. I haven’t even used it today, and I charged it overnight.’ She shook her head. ‘Do you have that charger?’
Paul leaned over to his pack and rummaged through it to find the portable charging brick. He plugged her phone into it, but again, nothing happened.
‘The charger’s dead too?’ she said, taking the electronics from him to examine them.
‘Must be. Maybe I left something plugged in today, drained its battery.’ He sighed. ‘Just another thing I’m incapable of properly handling.’
Ari put the equipment down and looked at him. ‘Paul. You know I love you, don’t you?’ An ashamed nod was his only response, his eyes glued to the cooking food. ‘Hey.’ Her hand on his cheek guided his eyes to hers. ‘The past is in the past. I forgave you for your mistakes.’
‘I know, Ari. I love you, too.’ His eyes welled with conflicted tears. They held each other’s gaze for a few moments before he dropped his, wiping his eyes and sniffing. ‘I guess this is a bad time to tell you, I… may have smuggled a flask of whisky into my pack.’
He slowly turned back to face her, fighting a smirk. Ari sighed in attempted frustration, though she couldn’t hide her grin at his stupid – and, though she hated to admit it, charming – sense of humour. She softly hit him, but they both laughed.
‘Too soon?’ Paul asked.
‘Way too soon.’
He took the pot off the small flame and began eating. He still smiled, though Ari sensed his difficulty in ignoring his pain, guilt never quite leaving his features. ‘Do you still think about it, though? Drinking?’
Paul didn’t meet her eyes. ‘Yeah. Sometimes.’
She’d expected such a vague answer. ‘Paul. Come on. Talk to me.’
He sighed and put the pot down, frustrated, but formed his words carefully. ‘I think about it all day, every day. That’s why we’re out here, right? So I can take my mind off of it.’
‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to…’
‘No, it’s…’ Paul ran a hand over his forehead and hair. ‘I’m not upset with you, sweetheart. I just… I’m upset with myself.’
Ari squeezed his hand. ‘Maybe tomorrow we can walk together for a little longer. Just a K or two.’
Paul gave a sad smile. ‘I don’t want to slow you down.’
‘You don’t need to be embarrassed, Paul. I’m happy to go slow. I just want to spend time with you.’
‘Isn’t that what we’re doing now?’
‘You know what I mean.’
He sighed. She couldn’t let him continue punishing himself when she’d already forgiven him. ‘Fine. Just for a bit. But if I need to stop or take a break, anything, you keep going. Got it?’
Ari smiled and put her arms around him. ‘You’re an idiot. I love you.’
They held each other, appreciating being in each other’s arms, having missed it for so long. Small raindrops began tapping on the canvas above them, growing in size and strength while they shared the food from the pot. When they’d finished, very little light pierced the clouds, dark enough for sleep. They pulled their shoes into the small dry space and lay down against each other inside their separate sleeping bags, the drone of falling rain their lullaby.
NIGHT 1
A vague, upsetting dream was enough to wake Ari in the middle of the night, though she’d never remember its details. The canvas above her was still black, bombarded by heavy rain.
Taking a few deep breaths to relax, she rolled over to snuggle up against Paul. Strange, she thought, not feeling him. She pushed an arm out the top of her sleeping bag, but his was cold and flat atop the thin bedroll. Empty.
‘Paul?’ she whispered, sitting up. When there was no response, she felt around in the dark for her pack, searching inside for the headlamp. She clicked through its settings, but nothing happened. The device refused to illuminate, even after smacking it a few times. She sighed, frustrated, and let her eyes adjust.
The tent was just as it had been when they’d gone to sleep; their packs by their feet, their shoes and jackets by the entrance flap. The only thing missing was Paul. Her first thought was that he’d gotten up to empty his bladder, but he’d left all his gear. If he was out there, he would be soaked and freezing in his sleepwear.
‘Paul!’ she called, hopefully loud enough for him to hear outside over the rain.
She waited, figuring he wouldn’t stay out long in the cold, blanketing downpour, but her concern grew with every passing minute she was alone.
Panic growing, she searched through the tent for signs of where he’d gone. His phone, still dead; his headlamp, also drained of power; his socks, shoes, all hiking gear beside hers. It was as if he’d disappeared with only the clothes he’d slept in.
‘Fuck, Paul.’
With no other option, she pulled on her jacket, thick socks, and beanie – anything that would keep her warm and dry – and finally her boots and unzipped the tent flap to step out into the dark, wet forest.
The night air was even colder and darker than she’d expected. Eyes widened, she could make out the silhouettes of trees surrounding their campsite, obscured by the rain falling from the dark clouds hiding most of the stars and moonlight.
Ari called Paul’s name a few times, not wanting to move too far in the clearing, listening for any response over the rain beating her waterproof hood.
Nothing.
Heart pounding in her chest, she studied the ground surrounding the tent, searching for any sign of him. Alongside her own fresh bootprints in the mud were another set of tracks, some trodden over by her own. Bare feet.
‘Jesus Christ, Paul!’ she yelled, trying to contain her fear.
She’d never known him to sleepwalk, and she couldn’t concede why he’d leave the tent in this weather without even his shoes. Unless…
She followed the prints, leading from the tent in a straight line through the clearing into the forest. They were only small depressions in the mud; following them through the rain and darkness grew more difficult with each step.
When she was surrounded by trees on all sides, she looked up. If she turned too quickly in any direction, it would be hard to find her way back to the tent.
‘Why the hell did you come out here, Paul?’ she said to herself. ‘No light, no shoes, no fucking concern for your wellbeing. Or mine.’ She was anxious to find him, terrified for his safety, but some small part of her wondered…
She hated herself for even considering it, but it was the only sensible explanation. Had Paul’s comment about bringing alcohol been a joke? Something as foolish as leaving the tent in the middle of the night, in the rain, without shoes – maybe to urinate, maybe just for a casual stroll – was easier to believe if he’d been drinking.
But… he wouldn’t have undone all the progress he’d made – they’d made. Just for one night. And out here, of all places.
A few steps further, and Paul’s footprints disappeared in the layer of grass and shrubbery and dead leaves. She stopped and looked up into the endless dark trees, calling his name a few more times.
Minutes went by, her heart in her throat, stomach lurching. Her teeth chattered in the cold, the rain attacking her. She wasn’t sure where the raindrops on her cheeks ended and her tears began.
If her worst fear was true and he’d somehow gone back to the alcohol… She had to stop the train of thought before it continued. The infinite directions he could’ve gone in, the dangers he’d have to avoid, the potentially horrible accidents…
She shook the thoughts away. She had to as she turned back for the tent.
There was no sense in her going further into the forest in the middle of the night, alone, possibly putting them both in serious danger. Her smartest, safest option was to wait until the light of morning to find him, if he didn’t come back on his own before then.
If he did, and he had even a slight air of booze on him, she’d kill him before the forest could.
Heart aching, tears flowing, she wanted to dismiss the idea of leaving him to fend for himself in the forest overnight, but she had no smarter solution. She constantly cursed under her breath following the straight line back to the clearing and the tent. Unzipping the flap, she fell in, defeated.
She sniffed and wiped her tears while removing all her gear, unconcerned about the water shaking onto the sleeping bags. When she was back down to her sleepwear, she crawled to her sleeping bag to climb in.
Ari screamed.
Paul was lying in his sleeping bag, arms by his side, watching her.
She waited for a few shocked seconds before hitting his legs. ‘What the fuck, Paul!? Where did you go!?’
He stared at her, barely registering her punches as she broke down, swearing and wailing, overwhelmed by anger and relief.
She fell on him and cried into his chest while he held her. He didn’t say a single word, nor move his gaze from her while she, exhausted from the night, sobbed herself to sleep.